Gone, just like that.

i was writing a blog on mental illness with my iPad and my left palm touched the screen and poof! It was gone!

I’m a bit devastated. It was a quality bundle of thoughts. Maybe they weren’t ready for the world yet. (Sigh)


The muse strikes back…

Herds of words invade my mind at the most inopportune time;

When Im behind the wheel of my car, there they are;

Scores of similes and metaphors;

Cadence galore;

In the office, at a meeting;

My muse must think Im cheating;

In she barges, irony in tow;

Demanding my attention;

Passion and ascension;

These gems, these jewels;

We’re quite the crew on a few bar stools;

Wood whittling this art;

Taking long sips of symmetry;

Until we lose track of time;

Then I realize that Im at the store, in line;

It’s my turn but again;

My mind has been hijacked by a herd of words;

Multiples, millions, syllables of prose;

Layers of an onion, petals of a rose;

Where do they live?

I mean…where do they go?

When it’s quiet and I have nothing to do?

When I have the attention to give?

Are they anvils sitting atop doors?

As soon as I walk through, they slam me to the floor;

Pinning me to their purpose;

Force feeding me hyperboles;

I never resist, they’ll just persist;

Abusive and intrusive of the best kind;

These herds of words stomping the literary into me;

They bloody me with the history of past lives;

Ive grown brusied by the page;

Sage wisdom stings every laceration;

Awakening the poet that sleeps within;

Such sadistic alliteration;

The abrupt interruption of my conversation with a friend;

Ends when the herd pinches a nerve;

Im forced to comply;

With anxious eyes, I apologize for my sudden need to heed the beckoning;

A reckoning is upon me;

Write or fight;

Write or flight;

The herd, I heard;

These words I herd on paper, with pen;

With ink on my skin;

On screen from touch;

My companion when loneliness has me in its clutch;

There’s not enough writhing to free me;

Not enough tithing to save me;

Even in death, Im survived by the herd;

The herd of words that invades my mind at the most inopportune time.

© Copyright 2015 Crystal J

“its just a flag”

“the confederate flag is being pulled from many giant retailers since the fatal racially motivated shootings in Charleston, North Carolina”

The TV blared and reminded me of yet another reason why my daughter doesn’t have a TV in her room. I watched her as she watched the TV and listened. I watched her facial expression. She gasped at learning people were shot and died. She He looked young. She thought he was a boy but indeed a man. I braced myself for the questions that surely would follow, just like they did when Trayvon Martin’s story was the trending topic of discussion.

“why did he shoot those people?”

I stopped short of explaining racism. Im not sure Im ready to have that conversation with her yet. But I know its inevitable and with or without my reproach its she’s getting bits and pieces of what it really is.

I told her that he was likely taught to be mean and not like people for being different so he wanted to hurt them, kill them. She was pretty confused. And that’s the reality of it all. The purest truth Ive ever seen. She should be confused because it absolutely makes no sense to hurt someone because they are different. The channel moved to something else and she lost interest…for the moment.

The next day, same situation and I preface this with the fact that she may have been hearing about the confederate flag quite frequently outside of seeing it on TV.
“people around the nation are grappling with their beliefs on whether or not the confederate flag is a sign or racism and hatred; many public facilities have chosen to remove the flag however several US Citizens oppose the measure” (TV goes to an interview of a white man who claims the flag is symbolic of those who fought during the confederacy and how it’s a sacred flag that should remain flying) “a woman scales a 30 foot flag pole in South Carolina to remove the confederate flag from its place, she was immediately taken into custody” the TV never lets me down.

She stared once again, making faces of different expressions. Then she got up from her seat and said very calmly and child-like. As if the day was light as air and she had no worries at all, “its just a flag”

*drops mic*

She’s right, its just a flag and whether we let it fly, take it down, stop selling it, debate about it, accuses one another because of it, its still just a flag and if we were all being really honest, its just a cowardly catalyst for what should really be discussing.

Why is racism still so strong in this country and what can we do to eliminate it and educate ourselves on why it needs to stop?