Ive known for quite some time that Ive suffered from some form of attention deficit. Ive always been easily distracted but my energy levels have always allowed me to keep up with my mental pace. As Ive grown older I found it more difficult to control. I researched Adult ADD extensively and Ive known people who also suffer. When I learned that it can only be treated and not cured, I was more reluctant to see a doctor. Treatment usually equals some form of daily medication or infinite trips to a therapist. Neither of which interested me. So, I trudged on with my difficulties thinking that I could hope and discipline myself into control. I think it really hit me in my early 20s when I was trying to take a licensing exam and I had put in countless hours of study and I couldn’t pass the test to save my life. I was frustrated. I was studying. I applied myself. I sought every study tool known to man. I tried changing my lighting during study. I changed my eating habits. I bought different materials to help me organize. Nothing worked. I was always too distracted to retain what I had studied. I had to take the test several times. It was embarrassing. I finally passed the test. With a combination of memorizing patterns and best guesses I passed but that wasn’t the cure nor was it a standard that I could apply overall.
In other areas of challenge, my distractedness also affected my personal goals and personal endeavors. I start projects but I can’t focus on them long enough to complete them. This bothers me a lot because I feel that I can be much more productive and dynamic in my pursuits if I could focus longer. After rounds and bouts of frustration I finally decided to look up a doctor. I was once again reluctant to find out this doctor only treated ADD with prescription drugs. Any coaching or therapy is referred to another facility. In an effort to help myself I decided to go ahead with it.
Upon my first visit I spoke with the doctor, took a few tests, blood work, sensory, etc. I also had two test to give to people that are familiar with my behavior. One that was all wrapped up, I was provided a prescription for Metadate.
The first dose of this medicine gave me the worst migraine ever. I didn’t take anything to combat the headache because the medication leaflets were explicit in not mixing drugs. I called the doctor’s office to report my side effects and to find out what I could do. By the time they called me back I had already left work because I couldn’t stand the pain and looking at the computer. I was initially able to take ibuprofen but I didn’t take any more of the Metatdate. I made another appointment to see the doctor.
Back to the drawing board…we tried a different medication at a lower dosage. Vyvanse…took some adjustment but I saw some short-lived improvement. Back for the follow-up appointment, it was determined that the dosage should increased for a more lasting effect.
Present day and about a month in on the Vyvanse, Im doing much better but not great. My mornings are much more productive than before. Im able to attain greater focus for longer periods of time but I still struggle here and there. I hate to be interrupted because it is a chore to get back into my groove. Im learning what rocks my boat and what helps me set a steady course.
Being more organized definitely helps me. I use reminders and calendars so that I don’t forget things. And Im getting good handle on what works. Im an adult woman. I can only imagine how children are stumbling their way in and out of this situation. They aren’t able to communicate themselves as well as adults and they may be highly misunderstood.
All things considered. Im glad that I went to a doctor to get a glimpse of what goes on in my brain when Im distracted or frustrated. It’s a very in-depth synopsis to understand the test results of ADD but it’s worth knowing more about yourself and how you respond to your environment.