Revelations 03/20/2017

Remember, you are responsible for your own emotions. You are responsible for how you react and respond to those around you. That does not mean that you are not allowed to express or acknowledge how you feel. It means that you must accept responsibility for your emotional reactions and responses.

Intense emotional responses can be debilitating but when you remind yourself that you are in control, the waves are easier to navigate.

I’ve found myself in a holding pattering of wait. I’ve been waiting for someone to tell me what they are already showing me in their actions. For whatever reason, I want to hear them speak the words to me. Perhaps hearing it will be more of a reality to me than the daily experience of their behavior. The waiting is taking its toll on my emotions. I find myself going from one extreme to the next and back again. And this is where the ability to gain and maintain control is most important.

Some people will never admit their truths, especially when it will expose their wrongdoings or ill intentions. Some people would rather wait out the inevitable or hope that it goes away. I must admit, it feels like being on a runaway train that I know is going to crash. I have two choices, jump off or endure the crash while hoping I survive either outcome.

As I ride the rails of this high-speed chase to clarity, I’m trying to learn how not to wait. How do I release my expectations? I realize that when I’m waiting on my expectations to be met, Im allowing someone else to dictate my moves. Im allowing someone else to control me. If my actions are contingent upon those of another, I will forever be someone else’s shadow. Still, knowing this doesn’t birth an answer to my question. How do I detach from what I want? God could tell me to my face that I will not get what I want and I still wouldn’t know how to not want it.

In the meantime, I’ll work on the maintenance of my emotional well-being.


Parenting: Spring Break Day 2 (Where’s The Village?)

Parenting literally is the most thankless job ever.

Imagine showing up somewhere everyday, giving it your absolute very best and these little ingrates still have the nerve to complain and express dissatisfaction. And sure, teaching gratitude and manners is part of the parenting curriculum but I’m sure every mom, dad, teacher, guardian, etc would agree with me when I say, this curriculum is a like the very parenting manual itself, its just a blank page. That page remains blank until the parent realizes there’s a need for the instruction and thus it is born of trial and error.

Buuuut, like loyal gluttons for punishment, most of us continue show up, filled with the most sincerest of intentions hoping for a day better than the one before. And if we are lucky we get that better day. And luck be a lady! Please be a lady.

We pray that on the latter end of these days…when the mandatory hands-on parenting is less of a need, something of value has bloomed withing the souls of our children. Depending on how optimistic you are, that something can be seen as the life that was sucked from your soul as your children were growing up that has now manifested itself in middle-aged bitterness or the very best parts of you that you graciously donated to your children along the way.






Wheels of Steel

Car buying can be a headache. The process of sitting at a dealership for hours is enough to saddle me back into the seat of my old hoopty and keep it moving. Furthermore the idea of being duped on a purchase is even more of an annoyance.

But, we cant be held hostage to hour fears forever so there’s nothing left to do but get on with it and get it over with, though ┬ánot with haste might I add. I advise that you know exactly what you want in your next vehicle and know what your expectations are; believe it or not, they are not the same thing.

What I wanted was an SUV with a 3rd Row Seat and Rear A/C. Those were my wants/needs. And for the most part, that’s what I got but once I received it. I realized that I also had expectations.

I expected that a 2015 model vehicle should have certain standard features such as lighted vanity mirrors, compass system, secured fuel tank, auxiliary/usb ports, auto on/off headlights, hands-free blue-tooth system, fuel measurement, just to name a few.

As of 2017 technology has advanced in such a way that the aforementioned accommodations would be more of a chore to omit from a vehicle than it would be to include them.

Granted, I do realize that some vehicles are manufactured for specific purposes, such as rentals, fleet use, models, etc., still, I cant help buy feels a tiny bit of buyer’s remorse after having purchased a 2015 Dodge Journey STX.

I purchased this vehicle from CarMax, which BTW is my favorite place to buy cars. They have streamlined the car buying process to a science and made it less daunting for consumers. The time I spent actually purchasing the vehicle was far less time consuming than my decision making process. I appreciate that greatly. Im sure CarMax has an internal sequential process that is not specifically disclosed to customers but I know there is some type of ordered steps in this process due to the fact that I didnt spend hours sitting at the cube or desk of a desperate sales-person haggling over the price of the vehicle.

Meanwhile after having and driving the 2015 Dodge Journey STX for approximately 6 Days, I’ve discovered a few things about this make and model. *Disclaimer: I haven’t read the manual for this vehicle yet (but who does?) I’m still getting to know some of the features and discovering those that are available and those that are not. The list below is not exclusive of the information that was advertised of the vehichle’s features however they are items that I immediately noticed as absent.

  1. The fuel tank doesn’t lock.
  2. There are no lights around the vanity mirror.
  3. The blue-tooth capability of this model may or may not be available in the one that I purchased. While there is a U-Connect menu option that displays when I start the car, upon calling the number on the screen for assistance, the representative informed me that this was not available in my vehicle. Im not sure how true this is.
  4. Remote start. Either of have yet to learn this feature or its non-existent. Although, it was advertised on CarMax’s ad.
  5. The lights are on automatic. I found this to be the most minimal of the features that should be standard. I own a 2008 sedan that is equipped with auto on/off light but Dodge couldnt find the space to add them into a 2015? Wow.
  6. Compass/navigation. Either it doesnt exist or I dont know how to access it. A best if a system has an LCD touch screen, the inclusion of a basic compass navigation should be present #dodgefailmaybe.
  7. The glove compartment is TINY. I have been guilty of stuffing the GC with as many random “you-never-know” items as possible but this GC is doesnt even have enough space for the “just-in-case” items such as travel wipes, a small note book, and pen. You’d think there was a real space compromise on this but eh…its minor. I’ll let it pass.

Again, I stress, I havent gotten to know the full extent of the in-dash LCD system yet but there are definitely some limitations. I’ll update this post as I discover new feature leads.