There’s an element of survival hiding in selfishness. At some point we all come to the conclusion that our selflessness has some unreasonable expectations and we turn to selfishness as a means of coping with disappointment. By the time we realize what has occurred…we’ve all been selfish and unreasonable, we’ve all been duped by our very own insistence that things are supposed to happen in a certain way and if it doesn’t, something is terribly wrong…by this time, hopefully we’re not too alienated from one another that we aren’t willing to try again.
I’ve heard this before but like most cliches and I ignored it but…its true. Life plays a really mean and nasty trick on us. We don’t recognize and appreciate the most important and valuable parts of our lives until its too late. So guess what? By this time, most of us have screwed up so badly, that we’re jaded, exhausted, scared, frustrated, or all of the above.
The problem isnt us… well it is but not the way we think. We’re not broken people, we just haven’t learned to accept that we’re not perfect and all of the things we think we’re supposed to be and do arent even close to reality.
This guy once told me that there’s no such thing as a selfless act; no one does anything purely for the benefit of someone else. Its impossible because every impulse, thought, and desire starts within. Even influence requires our participation.
Interestingly enough most us are out here giving the best of ourselves to others under the guise that its for their benefit and these people should not only see the gems that we are but damn it! They should do the same for us too. And when they don’t, when they try and fail, or when they do so below our standard, life starts to get even more interesting because this process repeats itself in a myriad of combinations, with different people, in various ways…but you can rest assured that it will happen over and over again until we realize that it’s not what’s supposed to happen and maybe not even why its supposed to happen but HOW it’s supposed to happen.
Life isn’t denying us the shyt that we want, it’s forcing us to decide if we really want it because if we do, nothing will stop our continued pursuit of it and during that pursuit we get to know ourselves better.
Another one of life’s little discoveries is getting to know ourselves better along the way. It’s a bit of a must. It happens whether we want it to or not. Whether we’re paying attention or not, we’re getting to know ourselves better. And if you’re really in the thick of it, you learn that we are so damn imperfect that it sometimes feels like we are broken beyond repair and should sooner rid the world than keep going.
That imperfection, that most potent shot from the world is the one thing that often debilitates us. It stops us like a taser shock. Not because we didn’t know we weren’t perfect but because the reminder of being less than pristine revealed itself in the presence of others, it embarrasses us. Now we feel all naked and vulnerable about being flawed. Now we’re REALLY feeling some kinda way because everyone else knows too. And since we’re all deep in our feelings at the time, it hasn’t dawned on us that this affliction is literally ALL RELATIVE. We all suffer from this same condition. Knowing this doesn’t necessarily make us feel better however it does let us know that the mistakes we make aren’t exclusive to us and if we acknowledge this, perhaps we will be more open about what we truly want and need from one another rather than putting each other through the pain and redundancy of trial and error.
Hence our current position…selfless>selfish>STOP>STUCK.
In all seriousness, get out of your own way. We all need each other, in some facet of life there’s a part of us that improves the existence of another person and while we cannot reciprocate the precise and exact love and devotion that we give others, we will indeed receive the same level and spirit in which we give.
Feel free to unblock yourself and move on. This doesn’t mean you aren’t entitled to your emotion. You are but experience it and move on with life. You cannot live in the emotion. You cannot stay there. You have to live on.